Video Games - The Unexpected Tool in My Mental Wellness Toolkit

I grew up in the 90s/00s alongside the popularization of video games. However, in our community video games were implied to be a dangerous pastime, packed with secular distractions and dubious moral themes. The emotional outbursts of some players, particularly when losing or frustrated with a game, were used as evidence of video games’ detrimental influence on children and adults alike. There were a handful of games I grew to enjoy after some exposure to them from friends. But I continued to view them as mindless distractions, best used in social settings, well into adulthood.

During my years spent largely housebound, I learned a lot about the human body, our physiology, a variety of physical and mental illnesses, and how this information can be used to improve our day to day lives. Everything we do, from how we sleep and move around, to the air we breathe and what we ingest, to the hobbies and work we put our effort towards, has a measurable impact on both our physical and mental emotional wellbeing. Video games are no exception, and can be used either to help or to harm us.

Video games’ functioning as a distraction and/or social activity is already beneficial. When learning Distress Tolerance skills in therapy, distraction is one of the tools we learn to reach for. Tolerating distress is a very difficult task, especially when we know there is no solution for that which distresses us. Video games offer an immersive experience which works well for this purpose. Similarly, healthy socialization is a non-negotiable aspect of staying mentally and emotionally well. For people who struggle to leave their home or otherwise have difficulty maintaining in-person relationships, video games can provide a more accessible avenue for Building Meaningful Connections with Others. Of course, any tool used too much or incorrectly can become harmful. Video games used as distraction without applying Mindfulness and Boundaries can lead to excessive use, even addiction. Video games used for socialization without openness to exploring other methods of social contact can become a barrier to trying new or alternate socialization tools. But this is true of anything we are willing to use as distractions or social barriers. These risks should not be a primary deterrent to video game use.

Video games which reflect the real world can help us understand ourselves and our environments. Simulators have taught me so much about myself and the world around me. The Sims series in particular helped me visualize and simulate Practical Skills I had been unable to gain ground on in the real world; the most essential of these skills being Meeting and Balancing Basic Needs. Ensuring my Sim got enough sleep, ate right, and kept clean was a real challenge at first. While taking care of myself is much more complex than a video game, playing helps me move through the basics. I can practice remembering to address basic needs regularly, budgeting time, and dealing with unexpected interruptions to routine. I have also gained better understanding of community engagement, resource management, skill development, and political relationships through a variety of simulator games. This genre of game provides hands-on learning in areas which might be difficult for many of us to access in the real world.

Video games encourage learning how to cope with failure and criticism. Failure is neither immoral nor a personal fault. It is a necessary part of learning and doing better, in any area of life. But for some people, including myself, the fear of failure can prohibit exploration, trying new things, and personal growth. Trying video games in the first place felt scary and later so did trying new genres of games from those I had become used to. But continuing to play, to pick it up and try again even if I need a break first, has been excellent practice for engaging with Self-Compassion and Non-Judgment when I feel I have missed the mark. Similarly, it is difficult for me to accept constructive criticism without being overly emotionally impacted. Allowing those around me to offer input as I play is another helpful practice for navigating criticism in real time. If I allow the advice of others to frustrate me, rather than simply using what is helpful and forgetting the rest, I am less effective in my gameplay. This is a direct and clear representation of how criticism can be effectively used towards Accomplishing Real Life Goals.

Video games provide opportunities to practice emotional regulation. Those same outbursts which were used as evidence of video games’ detrimental effect are now one of the reasons I consider these games to be helpful. Heightened emotions are often recognized as yelling, screaming, hitting, and throwing things. But they can also look like crying, making excuses, giving up, and shutting down. If you or someone you know experiences any of these during video games or due to other situations, Emotional Regulation practices and skills could be a helpful set of tools.

Video games can bring up all kinds of emotions. When playing games which are particularly competitive or challenging, emotions tend to become heightened during gameplay and can then produce especially strong reactions if the goal is not reached. Outbursts and/or shutdowns are often witnessed at this point. When aiming to use video games as an opportunity to practice emotional regulation, I take into account how much emotion and which emotions I feel prepared to take on. I won’t play a combat-based game if initiating fight or flight response could be overwhelming to me. I won’t play a challenging puzzle-based game if I may not have the patience to cope with repeated failure. Being able to self-assess in this way is an important aspect of intentionally using video games, and other activities, to practice emotional regulation skills.

Overall, video games offer a safe, enjoyable environment to practice a variety of mental emotional wellness skills, if we are willing to take the opportunity. Engaging with the skills previously mentioned through video games allows me to practice in my home where I feel safe, and with or without the presence of others. I can disconnect or shut off the video game at any time if I feel overwhelmed or unable to engage with my skills when I need to. And I get to experience all of these functional benefits while also making the time to enjoy myself.

I learned how to engage with the Italiced skill sets over several years, with the help of various clinicians, community members and programs, and countless hours of self-led research. If you feel you could benefit from learning any of these skills, I encourage you to seek out an appropriate practitioner and/or social group to support you in your personal goals. However, I know from experience it is also possible to learn much through independent study and application. Find the routes that work best for you.

I am grateful for these opportunities I have in my day to day to continue advancing in my mental emotional wellness. Video games don’t need to be a barrier to mental health; they can also be used to benefit us, particularly when applied with mindfulness and intention.